As a Registered Dietitian, I am approached regularly by both clients and friends who are worried about their children’s weight. Often their children have been categorized as underweight or overweight based on their body mass index (BMI) category. Having a label like this be assigned to your child is unfun at best and makes parents question their worth or parental ability at worst. Sometimes parents even worry about their children’s weight if they aren’t in these categories due to personal feeling about their own weight. We all have our unique histories with food, feeding, and our orientation toward our own bodies. It’s tough not to bring those emotions into parenting our kids, and it can make it tougher on parents if their kids are plunked into these extremely unhelpful categories.

The reason why I *love* this book, and decided to review it over all the other books on my book shelf (it’s been a big professional reading year for me!), is because it shows parents who are having these types of concerns where they can direct their positive energy. Releasing your worries and self-doubt and directly your energy in the ways described in this book will, yes, lead to improved health and wellness; but these methods will also be good for the whole family, and lead to more connected experiences, peace, and joy along the way.

I consider myself spiritual not religious, but I think the serenity prayer is the perfect way to guide parents to a peaceful place on this issue. The serenity prayer reads “grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”

The serenity prayer encapsulates a healthy mindset toward coping with these things in a way that doesn’t unnecessarily negatively impact our own mental health nor the mental health of our children. Kids Thrive at Every Size expertly summarizes the actions we can take that are within the “courage to change the things I can” category, and these things, when implemented properly, feel good and are healing to us, our children, and not to mention those around us.

I asked permission from Jill Castle, a fellow RD and the book’s author, to publish the 8 pillars of wellness from her book on my blog and she graciously allowed me to do so. I will summarize them below but if this is a struggle you are currently in within your family or your own thoughts, I highly recommend getting the book and delving in more.

The pillars as described in this book and below are aren’t ever perfectly executed in any family, but something we can all work toward. Reviewing these pillars could be a great start to creating some more positive habits and routines within your family to help nurture both children and adults to feel their best! As you read through them, think: Which of these pillars do we do a great job executing? Which of these pillars could use some work in our family and home? If you’d like to continue this work and dive deeper I highly recommend this book. You can buy it here.

8 Pillars of Wellness from Kids Thrive at Every Size

1. Family Culture // The child has a strong feeling of identification with their family and feels safe. No harmful language is permitted about bodies within the family or when speaking about people outside of the family.
2. Sleep // Sleep is a priority and the child gets enough rest to feel that they are at their best. The bedroom is a serene environment for the child and bedtime is calm and peaceful with no screens or stimulating activities. Bedtime is adjusted if parents observe that children are not getting enough rest.
3. Movement // Daily movement is part of the family’s rhythm. Movement is allowed and encouraged and both planned and unplanned. Parents follow the children’s interests in activities and joyful movement is encouraged. Child gets at least an hour of physical activity daily.
4. Feeding // Meals and snacks are predictable and routine, and tailored to the child’s age and needs. The child feels secure and trusted to eat by the parents and age-appropriate independence is encouraged within the boundaries of consistent rules that the child understands without having to question. This allows meal time to be relaxing and focused on the other people present.
5. Eating // Meals don’t routinely have unnecessary distractions like screens. The food environment is calming and helps to put child in tune with their body. The child feels free to talk about how hungry or full they may be without judgement. Recognizing that some foods are designed by be temptations and trigger overeating, the food environment at home doesn’t have a lot of these temptations or doesn’t have them routinely so the child is encouraged to consume nourishing foods.
6. Food // The parent is in charge of the food environment and what to offer to children. Center meals and snacks around nutritious foods while allowing for all foods to fit, including “fun” foods, being mindful of the overall balance the child consumes on a day to day basis. From the child’s perspective, food is fun! The parent takes full responsibility for meal planning; to the child, food feels exploratory in nature. Parents strive to cultivate positive food experiences like tasting new foods, learning age-appropriate cooking skills, and gardening or exploring where foods grow.
7. Screens and Media // Screens are not present during meal times or at bed time. The child’s day centers around activities like schoolwork, chores, playing, and having quiet and down time. The parent is aware of what websites the child visits and what content the child watches on TV and these things are discussed to put into the necessary context so the child has a healthy understanding of what they view. The child respects the parents’ rules around screens and media.
8. Self-Love // Love and care of each family member is prioritized. The family is vocal when others are shamed or discriminated against, inspiring the child confident at home, in themselves, and with their interactions toward others as they know their family supports love of both self and others.

Thanks for reading! I’d love to talk with you if you want to work toward some of these pillars! Give me a shout or book an appointment to talk with me!